Cool orkut funny text scraps

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Smiling is the

second best

thing you can do

with your lips..

Of course, the first best thing

is..

Keeping them

shut !
==================================================================
God made man and

then rested

God made woman and

then no one rested

==================================================================
What is the

thinnest book in the

world?

What Men know

about Women
==================================================================
1) what is the cube of 13?
Its : SUROOR
wandaring how?
thats bcoz....
TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR

2) ek aadmi k 6 fingers thi,use log hanuman bulate the...batao kyon?
kyonki uska naam hanuman tha..

3) who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?
..........sita with ravan

4) wht did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
…….Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya

5) wht do u call a really colourful tamilian???
Ans: Rangamannar rangrajan

6) n elephant falls in luv wid n ent.but Ant’s parents r against their marrige…guess y??
they gave a solid reason…**Ladke k dat bahar hai**

7)ones sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought..
……kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona honda..

8) Full form of MATHS????
Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students…

9) what wud u call a girl who never laughs??
Ans: hasina
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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman,
you must love her a lot and not try understand her at all.


MEMORY

Any married man should forget his mistake
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Computer Vs. Hindi Films

1) Pentium III & Pentium I ---- Bade miyan - Chhote miyan.

2) Computer infected by Virus - Pyar to Hona hitha.

3) Hard disk and Floppy disk - Gharwaali Baharwaali.

4)F1 - Guide.

5) Esc - Nau Do Gyarah.

6) Ctrl+Alt+Del - AkhriRastaa.

7) CrtlC + CtrlV - Duplicate.

8) Undo - Aa ab lautchale.

9) Super User Password - Gupt.

10) BackUp - Jaagteraho.

11) UPS - Janta Hawaldar.

12) Server -Godfather.\ SARKAR...

13) Proxy Server - Padosan.

14) Security -Nakabandi.

15) Storage - Tehkhana.

16) Storage capacity -Badhti ka naam Dadhi.

17) Computer without RAM - KoraKagaz.

18) Computer whose OS is DOS - Buddha mil gaya.

19)System which frequently requires bootable disk - Sharabi.

20) DumbTerminal - Anari.

21) Mouse - Jaanwar.

22) Hard Disk partition- Batwara.

23) Hardware & Software - Ek duje ke liye.

24)Tempo rary file - Khote Sikkey.

25) Operator vs Computer - Mein khiladi Tu Anaddi
==================================================================

Why do students fail in exams...?
It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student

1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE.. Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing)-means 30days. Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days Days left 81.

7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days. Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3.

10. Movies and functions- at least 2 days. 1 day left.

11. That 1 day is ur birthday. How can you study on your B'day??
Balance = 0 "How can a student pass?

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